Why Mediation?
You have a choice in how you handle your divorce, custody case, or family law matter.
You can hire attorneys, fight it out in court for 12-24+ months, spend $15K-$30K+ per person, and let a judge who doesn’t know you decide your family’s future.
Or you can mediate.
Here’s why mediation is the smarter choice for couples who are ready to engage like adults.
What Mediation Actually Is (And Isn't)
Mediation is:
✓ A structured negotiation process where an impartial third party (me) helps you reach agreements
✓ Voluntary – you both choose to participate
✓ Confidential – what happens in mediation stays in mediation
✓ Focused on solutions, not blame
✓ Legally binding once finalized and filed with the court
Mediation is NOT:
✗ Therapy or marriage counseling
✗ Someone “fighting for you” or advocating for one side
✗ A place where I tell you what to do
✗ Guaranteed to work if one or both of you refuses to engage in good faith
When Mediation Works:
✓ Both people are willing to be transparent about finances (no hiding assets or income)
✓ You can have hard conversations without it turning into a screaming match
✓ You’re ready to take responsibility for your part and negotiate in good faith
✓ You want control over your outcome instead of letting a judge decide
✓ You’re willing to do the work (homework, disclosures, showing up prepared)
When Mediation Doesn't Work:
✗ There are active safety concerns (significant domestic violence or coercion)
✗ One person is hiding assets or has zero intention of being transparent
✗ One or both of you has zero interest in compromise
✗ One person expects the mediator to “fight for them” or “win” against the other
✗ One person refuses to engage or show up prepared
Not sure if mediation is right for your situation? That’s exactly what the Readiness Consultation is for.
Common Questions
Will I be protected legally?
For divorce, custody, and modifications:
Yes. The agreements we reach in mediation become legally binding court orders once filed and approved by a judge. You have the same legal protections as if you’d gone through litigation—but you get to control the terms instead of leaving it up to a judge.
For prenups and cohabitation agreements:
Yes. These are legally binding contracts once signed by both parties. They don’t require court approval—they’re enforceable as written (as long as they’re properly drafted and executed, which is what I do).
For all services:
You can also consult with your own attorney at any point during the process (that’s called “consulting counsel” or “advising counsel”). I encourage it, especially for complex financial situations.
What if my ex is difficult or unreasonable?
If your ex is truly impossible to work with, mediation might not be the right fit—and that’s okay. That’s why we do the Readiness Consultation first.
But here’s the thing: most people who think their ex is “impossible” are actually dealing with normal conflict, poor communication, or unresolved hurt. Mediation can work even when you don’t like each other—as long as you’re both willing to show up and negotiate in good faith.
If communication is the issue, we can use shuttle mediation (I go back and forth between you in separate virtual rooms) or other modifications to make the process work.
What if we can't agree on something?
If you genuinely can’t reach an agreement on a specific issue, you have options:
- Table it and come back to it later (sometimes stepping away helps)
- Consult with attorneys for legal advice on that specific issue
- Litigate that one issue while mediating the rest (partial mediation saves you time and money vs. full litigation)
- End mediation and litigate everything (last resort, but it’s an option)
Mediation doesn’t lock you in. You’re always free to walk away if it’s not working.
How long does mediation take?
Typical timeline: 3-4 months from Readiness Consultation to final agreements (depending on your complexity and how quickly you work through issues).
Compare that to litigation: 12-24+ months minimum.
Some couples knock out simple cases in a few weeks. Others with complex finances or high-conflict dynamics take longer. You set the pace.
How much does mediation cost?
Starting rates vary by service (see the Services page for specifics), but most cases range from $5,000 to $15,000 total (for both of you combined).
Compare that to litigation: $15K-$30K+ per person (so $30K-$60K+ total).
You’re saving 50-70% compared to hiring attorneys and fighting in court.
Want a firm quote? Book a Readiness Consultation and I’ll give you one during the Joint Discussion based on your specific situation.
Do I need an attorney if I'm doing mediation?
No, you don’t need to hire an attorney to go through mediation. I’m a licensed attorney and mediator—I draft the legal documents and file them with the court.
However, you’re always welcome (and encouraged) to consult with your own attorney for legal advice at any point. This is especially smart if:
- Your finances are complex (business ownership, retirement accounts, real estate, etc.)
- You’re unsure if an agreement is fair
- You want a second set of eyes on the documents before signing
This is called “consulting counsel” or “advising counsel,” and it’s a common (and smart) practice in mediation.