Frequently Asked Questions

Mediation is you staying in control of your own outcome instead of handing your family’s future to a judge.

Here’s the deal: When you go to court, a stranger in a robe who’s never met your kids, doesn’t know your financial situation, and has 47 other cases that day gets to make permanent decisions about your life. Sound fun? Didn’t think so.

Mediation is different. I’m an impartial third party (think referee, not judge) who helps you and your ex have productive conversations and reach your own agreements. You make the decisions. You control the outcome. I just make sure you’re both being heard, staying transparent, and not letting emotions derail the process.

You don’t have to agree on everything or even like each other. You just have to agree to stay out of court and negotiate in good faith. If you can mind your manners during the process, we can get this done.

Why should I choose mediation instead of going to court?

Because your family’s future doesn’t belong in a courtroom.

Look, I get it—divorce or custody battles feel overwhelming, and hiring a lawyer seems like the “safe” choice. But here’s what litigation actually gets you:

  • A judge who doesn’t know your family making permanent decisions for you
  • Legal bills that can easily hit $15-30K+ each (and that’s if things go relatively smoothly)
  • A process designed to find a “winner” and a “loser” (spoiler: your kids lose either way)
  • 12-24+ months of fighting that destroys any chance of co-parenting peacefully

Mediation is different.

You keep control. You make the decisions. You protect your money AND your relationships. And if you can just mind your manners during the process, you’re already 90% there.

Mediation isn’t about kumbaya or being best friends with your ex. It’s about being smart enough to realize that spending $30K each to fight over a couch is insane, and your kids deserve better than watching their parents destroy each other in court.

Bottom line: Mediation costs less, takes less time, and leaves you with agreements you actually chose—not ones a stranger in a robe imposed on you.

Here’s how we do this:

Mediation with me isn’t about sitting in a room awkwardly staring at each other while I play referee. It’s structured, transparent, and designed to actually get you to the finish line.

Step 1: Readiness Consultation (2 parts)

  • Individual Screenings: I meet with each of you separately (30 min, $75/person) to make sure mediation is safe and appropriate. This isn’t just a domestic violence screening—I’m also assessing communication styles and whether you’re both actually ready to do this work.
  • Joint Discussion: After you’ve each completed your own screening, we meet together (30 min) to talk about your specific situation, go over the process, and I’ll give you a firm quote.

Step 2: Getting Started

If you decide to move forward, you’ll sign an engagement agreement and get access to your client portal. From there, you’ll complete your homework—a confidential questionnaire and financial disclosures—so we can hit the ground running in our first session.

Step 3: Mediation Sessions

This is where the real work happens. We meet (virtually—I’m based in Phoenix but work with clients throughout Arizona) and work through your issues one by one. How many sessions? Depends on you two. Some couples knock it out in a few hours. Others need multiple sessions over a few months. You set the pace.

Here’s what I need from you:

  • Show up prepared. Both of you. I won’t chase you for homework.
  • Be transparent. You’ll need to disclose financial info and complete questionnaires.
  • Mind your manners. You don’t have to agree on everything, but you do have to treat each other with basic respect.

Step 4: Finalizing Agreements

Once we’ve reached agreements on everything, I draft the legal documents, coordinate signing (with an e-notary when applicable), and file everything with the court. Then I monitor the docket to make sure the judge signs off, and you’re done.

The whole process: Typically 3-4 months (and $5-15K total) from start to finish, including the court process, depending on your pace and complexity. Compare that to 12-24+ months (and $30-60K total) for litigation.

Short answer: Because my time and expertise have value, and free consultations attract people who aren’t serious.

Here’s the longer answer:

I don’t offer free consultations because my process doesn’t start with a sales pitch—it starts with making sure mediation is actually safe and appropriate for your situation. That requires real work:

  • Screening for domestic violence and power imbalances
  • Assessing communication styles and conflict patterns
  • Determining whether you’re both genuinely ready to engage in good faith

This isn’t something I can (or should) do in a quick “get to know you” call. It’s a structured, confidential assessment that protects each of you and ensures we’re not wasting anyone’s time or money.

Here’s what the $75 per person gets you:

  • A private 30-minute screening where I can actually understand your situation
  • An honest assessment of whether mediation will work for you (I’ll tell you if it won’t)
  • A clear path forward if it’s a good fit

And here’s what it filters out:

  • People who just want free legal advice
  • People who aren’t ready to invest in the process
  • People who won’t respect boundaries (if you won’t pay $75 for a screening, you’re probably not going to show up prepared to sessions or do your homework)

Think of it this way: Litigation costs $15-30K+ per person—that’s $30-60K+ you’re spending as a couple to fight. Investing $150 total to make sure mediation is the right fit? That’s the smartest money you’ll spend.

Because mediation is built on transparency, and having one-on-one conversations about your case would create the appearance (or reality) of bias.

Here’s the thing: I’m an impartial third party. That means I don’t represent you OR your ex—I help both of you reach agreements together. If I meet with one of you privately to discuss the details of your case, the other person has every right to wonder: “What did they say? Whose side is she on now?”

The only exception is the Individual Screening, which is specifically designed to assess safety and appropriateness before we ever meet jointly. Those screenings are confidential and structured to protect both parties.

I get it—you’re probably the one doing all the research and legwork (and if you’re a woman in a heterosexual relationship, let’s be real, you probably are). But mediation only works if both people show up and participate equally. I can’t let one person carry the load while the other coasts.

If your ex isn’t on board yet or you’re not sure they’ll participate, here’s what you can do:

  • Check out the rest of my FAQ to get your questions answered
  • Schedule your own Individual Screening—you don’t need your ex’s permission to start the process, and sometimes taking the first step helps them see this is really happening

Each of you meets with me separately for a confidential 30-minute screening. This is where I assess whether mediation is safe and appropriate for your situation.

What I’m looking for:

  • Domestic violence or power imbalances that would make joint mediation unsafe
  • Communication and conflict styles (can you both engage in good faith, or is one person going to steamroll the other?)
  • Whether you’re each actually ready to do this work (or if someone’s just going through the motions)

This isn’t a “get to know you” chat. It’s a structured assessment that protects both of you and ensures we’re not wasting time or money on a process that won’t work.

Both screenings must be completed before we move forward to the Joint Discussion.

Yes, mediation is voluntary and requires both people to participate.

That said, you don’t need your ex’s permission to schedule your own Individual Screening. Sometimes taking that first step shows them you’re serious, and that’s enough to get them on board.

If your ex flat-out refuses to try mediation, you’ll need to explore other options (like hiring your own attorney). But if they’re just hesitant or unsure, scheduling your screening and then inviting them to do the same can move things forward.

To get started: Schedule your Individual Screening here.

After you’ve signed up for services: You’ll get access to my online scheduling system through your client portal for all future appointments.

I work with clients throughout Arizona. All consultations and sessions are conducted virtually for your convenience.

The mediation process itself typically takes 3-4 months from start to finish, including the court process, depending on your pace and how complex your situation is. Some couples knock everything out in a few sessions over a few weeks. Others need more time to work through financial details or co-parenting plans.

Here’s what affects the timeline:

  • Your schedule: How quickly you can meet and how much time you need between sessions
  • Your complexity: A straightforward divorce with no kids and minimal assets moves faster than one with businesses, retirement accounts, and custody disputes
  • Your homework: The faster you complete financial disclosures and questionnaires, the faster we move

After mediation wraps up: Once we’ve reached all your agreements, I draft the documents and file them with the court. Then:

  • For divorces: Arizona has a mandatory 60-day waiting period before your divorce can be finalized. So even though our mediation work is done, you’ll wait about 2 months for the judge to sign off. (But hey, at least you’re not still paying lawyers during that time.)
  • For custody cases and modifications: Judges have up to 21 days to sign after filing (though it’s often faster).
  • For prenups and cohabitation agreements: No court approval needed—we’re done as soon as you sign.

Compare that to litigation: 12-24+ months (and $15-30K+ each) just to let a judge make decisions you could’ve made yourselves in a fraction of the time.

Mediation is significantly less expensive than litigation—and you’re not gambling with your financial future. Here’s the breakdown:

Litigation costs:

  • $15-30K+ per person (so $30-60K+ total as a couple)
  • 12-24+ months of your life
  • Unpredictable outcomes (you’re at the mercy of whatever judge you get)

Mediation costs:

  • A fraction of litigation (exact pricing depends on your situation—I give you a firm quote after the Joint Discussion)
    • Divorce: Starting at $5,500 (includes court filing fee and e-notary)
    • Custody: Starting at $6,000 (includes court filing fee and e-notary)
    • Prenups/Cohabitation Agreements: Starting at $4,000
    • Modifications: Starting at $3,000 (includes court filing fee and e-notary)
  • 3-4 months typically
  • Outcomes YOU control

The real cost of litigation isn’t just the legal fees—it’s the destroyed relationships, the kids caught in the middle, and the years of resentment that follow.

Mediation lets you invest in solutions instead of battles. And honestly? That’s priceless.

No, all services must be paid at the time of purchase.

I know that can feel like a barrier, but here’s why: Mediation only works when both people are invested in the process. Requiring payment upfront ensures you’re both committed and ready to do the work, not just kicking the can down the road.

If cost is a concern, remember: mediation still costs a fraction of what you’d spend on litigation. And every dollar you invest here is a dollar you’re not handing to attorneys to fight on your behalf.

Your safety is my top priority, which is why I require individual screenings before any joint discussions.

If there’s been domestic violence, that doesn’t automatically mean mediation is off the table—but it does mean we need to proceed very carefully (or not at all, depending on the severity).

Here’s how I handle it:

  • During your Individual Screening, I assess the situation and determine whether joint mediation is safe
  • If it’s not safe to meet together, I’ll let you know and help you understand your other options
  • If mediation might work with modifications (like using a shuttle approach where I meet with each of you separately instead of jointly), we’ll discuss that

Bottom line: I will not proceed with mediation if it puts either person at risk. Your Individual Screening is where we figure that out.

Then mediation won’t work, and I’ll tell you that.

Mediation requires both people to show up, participate, and do the work. I don’t chase people for homework. I don’t let one person carry the load while the other coasts. If someone’s not holding up their end, we’ll address it directly—and if it continues, we’ll have a conversation about whether mediation is the right fit.

Here’s the thing: If your ex won’t engage in mediation (which is cooperative and relatively low-stakes), they’re definitely not going to cooperate in litigation. At least in mediation, you find out early and can pivot to a different approach without spending $30K first.

This is also why I require equal participation from the start. It filters out people who aren’t serious and protects you from wasting time and money on a process that was never going to work.

You don’t have to agree on everything to start mediation—you just have to agree to try.

Mediation isn’t about walking in with all the answers. It’s about being willing to have productive conversations, stay transparent, and negotiate in good faith. You’ll disagree. That’s normal. That’s literally why you’re hiring a mediator.

My job is to help you work through those disagreements, clarify your options, and find solutions that work for both of you. Sometimes that means compromising. Sometimes it means getting creative. Sometimes it means one person realizes their position wasn’t as reasonable as they thought.

What mediation DOES require:

  • Both of you willing to stay out of court
  • Both of you willing to be transparent (no hiding assets or lying)
  • Both of you willing to treat each other with basic respect during the process

If you can do those three things, we can work through the disagreements.

Yes, a few things depending on your situation:

For divorces cases with minor children/custody: Arizona requires each parent to complete a court-approved parenting class. After I file your paperwork, the court issues an order requiring the class. You must complete it within 45 days of filing. I’ll let you know exactly when the order is conformed and make sure your certificates get properly filed with the court. The judge cannot approve your divorce or custody orders without both certificates of completion on file—so this isn’t optional.

The class covers co-parenting communication, managing conflict, helping kids adjust to separation, and other practical skills. Most people find it more helpful than they expected (even if it feels like a hoop to jump through). Classes typically cost $50-75 per person, and you each pay for your own.

For all cases: You’ll need to complete some homework between sessions—things like financial disclosures, questionnaires, and gathering documents. This isn’t busywork; it’s what allows us to use our session time efficiently instead of scrambling for basic information.

And one more thing: Both of you need to actually show up and do the work. I won’t chase you. I won’t let one person do everything while the other disappears. Equal participation isn’t negotiable.

Probably not—at least not in the traditional “show up and argue in front of a judge” sense.

If you can reach agreements on all your issues through mediation, here’s what happens:

For divorces, custody cases, and modifications:

  • I draft your agreements into the proper legal documents
  • You each sign (with an e-notary when applicable)
  • I file everything with the court
  • A judge reviews and signs off (but you don’t have to appear)
  • You’re done

For prenups and cohabitation agreements:

  • No court involvement at all—we’re done as soon as you sign

If you CAN’T reach agreements on everything, then yes, you’ll need to go to court for a judge to decide the remaining issues. But that’s why we’re doing mediation—to avoid exactly that.

You don’t NEED one, but you might WANT one—and here’s the difference:

What I do as your mediator:

  • Help you and your ex have productive conversations
  • Provide information about Arizona law and your options
  • Draft agreements based on what you’ve decided together
  • Make sure your paperwork is filed correctly

What I DON’T do:

  • Represent either of you individually
  • Give you legal advice about what YOU specifically should do
  • Advocate for your interests over your ex’s (or vice versa)

When you might want a review attorney:

  • If you have complex assets (businesses, multiple properties, retirement accounts)
  • If you want someone to review the agreements before you sign to make sure you’re not missing anything
  • If you just want the peace of mind of having your own lawyer look things over

Think of it this way: I’m the referee helping you both negotiate. A review attorney is YOUR coach, looking out for YOUR best interests specifically. Both can be valuable, but they serve different roles.

If you decide you want a review attorney, I can help you find one who understands and supports the mediation process (not all lawyers do).

No, I don’t represent either party in court—that’s not what mediators do.

My role is to help both of you work together to reach agreements outside of court. I’m an impartial third party, which means I can’t advocate for one person over the other.

If you need someone to represent you in court, you’ll want to hire your own attorney. But honestly? If you’re asking me this question, you might be thinking about mediation wrong. The whole point is to AVOID court and keep control of your own outcome.

If that’s not what you want, mediation probably isn’t the right fit—and that’s okay. I’d rather tell you that upfront than take your money for a process that won’t serve you.

Yes! I help couples create prenuptial agreements and cohabitation agreements that feel like a collaboration, not a legal battle.

Prenups:

  • For engaged couples who want to have smart financial conversations before they get married
  • No court involvement—just you, your partner, and clear agreements about assets, debts, and what happens if things don’t work out

Cohabitation agreements:

  • For unmarried couples living together who want to protect themselves and clarify expectations
  • Covers things like property, finances, and what happens if you break up

Both processes are collaborative, transparent, and way less stressful than the traditional “hire dueling attorneys” approach.

Want to learn more? Schedule your Readiness Consultation here.

Yes, I handle modifications for custody, parenting time, child support, and spousal maintenance.

If circumstances have changed since your original orders were put in place, we can work together to update them. The process is similar to mediation for an initial divorce/custody case, just streamlined since we’re only addressing specific issues.

Common reasons for modifications:

  • A parent’s work schedule changed
  • A child’s needs changed (school, activities, medical)
  • Someone’s relocating
  • Financial circumstances shifted

As long as both of you are willing to work together, we can mediate the changes and get new orders filed without going back to court for a fight.

Great question, because people mix these up all the time.

Mediators (like me):

  • Impartial third parties who help both of you reach agreements together
  • Don’t represent either person
  • Guide the conversation, provide legal information, and draft agreements based on what you decide
  • Work WITH both of you, not FOR one of you

Attorneys:

  • Represent ONE person’s interests only (you OR your ex, never both)
  • Advocate for their client in court
  • Cost $15-30K+ each for a litigated divorce
  • If you both hire attorneys, you’re headed to court unless you settle along the way

Legal Paraprofessionals:

  • Like nurse practitioners for law—licensed to practice in specific limited areas (family law is one)
  • Represent one person, like an attorney, but typically more affordable
  • Can give legal advice (unlike legal document preparers)
  • Cannot handle QDROs, business/commercial property division, or appeals

Legal Document Preparers:

  • Certified paralegals who draft documents without attorney supervision
  • Very knowledgeable about Arizona law and court requirements
  • Cannot give legal advice—they draft what you tell them to draft
  • Cost-effective if you just need paperwork formalized, but no guidance on whether your agreements are legally sound

Review Attorneys:

  • Attorneys you hire DURING mediation to review your agreements before you sign
  • Don’t litigate your case—they just give you independent legal advice about whether the deal you’re making is fair
  • A smart option if you have complex assets or just want peace of mind

Bottom line: Mediators help you negotiate. Attorneys fight for you (or against your ex). Legal paraprofessionals represent you and give legal advice in specific practice areas. Legal document preparers help with the paperwork. Review attorneys give you a second opinion before you sign. All have different roles—choose based on what you actually need.

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